Sales Lessons That Actually Changed My Life (And Why Everyone Needs Them)

Or: How I went from cringing at the word "sales" to realizing it's literally the most important skill ever

Okay, real talk - I used to think "sales" was a dirty word. Like, when I heard "salesperson," I immediately pictured that pushy guy at the car dealership who wouldn't let you leave without signing something. Or those Instagram DM bots trying to sell me their "life-changing" course for $497.

But then I had this massive realization that completely flipped my perspective: literally everything is sales. Getting a job? Sales. Convincing your friends to try that new restaurant? Sales. Even getting someone to watch your TikTok instead of scrolling past? That's sales too.

So here's what I've learned about selling without being a walking red flag, and why these skills are actually life-changing.

The Plot Twist: Sales Isn't About Selling

This is going to sound weird, but the best salespeople I know don't really "sell" anything. They just... share stuff they genuinely believe in. It's like when your friend recommends a show and you actually watch it because you trust their taste.

That's when I stumbled upon a video by Simon Squibb about the true power of sales and I'll be sharing my entire takeaway from it! The truth is that people don't buy products, they buy outcomes. And they definitely don't buy from people who sound like they swallowed a business textbook.

Why Being Honest is Actually OP (Overpowered)

Here's something that sounds counterintuitive but works every single time: sometimes the best sale is no sale.

I remember when a potential client wanted me to build them a website, but honestly? They needed to fix their business model first, not their website. I could have taken their money and built something that wouldn't help them. Instead, I told them to sort out their fundamentals first and come back in six months.

Did I lose money short-term? Absolutely. Did they come back later with a bigger project and refer two friends? Also absolutely.

Plot twist: When you're genuinely helpful instead of just trying to close a deal, people remember that. And guess what they do when they actually need what you're offering? They come straight to you.

The Introvert Advantage (Yes, Really)

Society has this weird idea that you need to be this smooth-talking, extroverted closer to be good at sales. That's completely wrong, and honestly kind of toxic.

Some of the best salespeople I know are quiet, thoughtful people who just ask really good questions and actually listen to the answers. They're not trying to overwhelm you with their personality - they're trying to understand what you actually need.

I'm naturally more on the introverted side, and I used to think that was a disadvantage. But then I realized: people can smell fake enthusiasm from a mile away. Authentic, low-key energy often builds way more trust than someone who's bouncing off the walls trying to convince you of something.

The secret sauce: Just be genuinely curious about people's problems. That's it. That's literally the entire strategy.

The Three-Step Framework That Actually Works

Forget all those complicated sales funnels and manipulation tactics. Here's what actually works:

1. Figure Out If They Actually Need This

Before you say anything about your product, ask: "Do you actually need this?" If they say no, ask when they might need it. This isn't rocket science, but most people skip this step and jump straight into pitch mode.

Real example: Instead of immediately explaining why my design service is amazing, I ask: "Are you actually looking to redesign right now, or just exploring options?" Half the time they're not ready, and that's totally fine. I'd rather know that upfront than waste both our time.

2. See If You Actually Vibe

This might sound unprofessional, but here's the truth: if you don't like each other, the project is going to be miserable for everyone involved. Life's too short to work with people who drain your energy.

I've started asking myself: "Would I want to grab coffee with this person?" If the answer is no, that's usually a sign the collaboration won't work out well.

3. Sell the Dream, Not the Features

Nobody cares that your app has "advanced analytics" or "machine learning capabilities." They care about feeling confident in their business decisions or saving three hours a week.

Before: "Our software has robust reporting features and customizable dashboards." After: "You'll finally know which marketing campaigns are actually working, so you can stop wasting money on the ones that aren't."

See the difference? One sounds like a product manual, the other sounds like a solution to a real problem.

The Feeling Economy is Everything

Here's something that completely changed how I think about selling: people buy feelings, not features.

Nobody really cares about your LinkedIn course - they care about feeling confident in job interviews. Nobody wants a gym membership - they want to feel strong and healthy. Nobody needs another productivity app - they want to feel like they have their life together.

Once I started thinking this way, everything clicked. Instead of listing what my service includes, I started painting a picture of how the client would feel once their problem was solved.

Game changer: Ask yourself "How will my customer feel after using this?" Then lead with that feeling.

Building Your Own Sales Army

The ultimate sales hack? Get other people to sell for you. I know that sounds obvious, but most people never actually do this strategically.

Every satisfied client becomes a potential referral source. Every positive interaction builds your reputation. Every piece of value you give away for free creates goodwill that often comes back as business later.

I started tracking this, and honestly, it's wild: about 70% of my business now comes from referrals or people who heard about me through someone else. That's way more effective than any cold email campaign I've ever tried.

Pro tip: Make it stupid easy for people to refer you. Give them the exact words to use when they recommend you to friends.

The Authenticity Superpower

Here's the thing that took me way too long to figure out: being vulnerable and real is actually a massive competitive advantage.

Instead of trying to sound like I have everything figured out, I started sharing my actual story - the struggles, the mistakes, the times I had no idea what I was doing. Turns out, people connect way more with that than with some polished, perfect persona.

When I tell potential clients about the project that went horribly wrong and what I learned from it, they trust me more, not less. When I admit that my service isn't right for everyone, they believe me when I say it's right for them.

Mind-blowing realization: People don't want to work with perfect people. They want to work with real people who understand their struggles because they've been there too.

The Bigger Picture That Changes Everything

The most important lesson I've learned about sales is this: it's not about pushing products - it's about solving real problems for real people.

When you genuinely care about helping people get better outcomes, sales becomes natural. You're not trying to trick anyone into buying something they don't need. You're connecting people with solutions that actually make their lives better.

And honestly? That feels amazing. Instead of feeling sleazy about "selling," I feel good about the work I do because I know it genuinely helps people.

The Bottom Line That Hits Different

Sales isn't this mysterious art form that only certain personality types can master. It's just human connection combined with genuine problem-solving. And in a world full of fake, automated, impersonal interactions, being authentic and helpful is actually a superpower.

Whether you're trying to get a job, grow a business, or just be more persuasive in everyday life, these principles work because they're based on treating people like actual humans instead of walking wallets.

The secret sauce: Show up as yourself, actually care about helping people, and be honest about what you can and can't do. That's literally it.

Now excuse me while I go practice what I preach instead of just writing about it...

P.S. - If you're reading this and thinking "but I'm not in sales," remember: we're all selling something, whether it's our ideas, our skills, or just ourselves. These lessons apply to literally everything.