Here's something that I've started to uncover recently. A "no" from the system doesn't mean "no" from the people.
You know what I'm talking about. That automated rejection email. The job posting that disappeared into the void. The business proposal that got buried in some corporate bureaucracy.
Most people take these systemic rejections as final answers. They're not.
The System vs. The People
Systems are designed to filter people out. That's literally their job. They're built to say no to as many people as possible so that the few who make it through are theoretically the "best" candidates.
But here's what systems can't measure: chemistry, timing, potential, and the thousand little factors that make someone the right fit at the right moment.
People, on the other hand, make decisions based on connection, trust, and gut feelings. They bend rules. They create opportunities that don't officially exist. They remember conversations from months ago and think of you when something comes up.
The disconnect between these two realities is where most opportunities actually live.
Why Everyone Gets Networking Wrong
Most people approach networking like they're trying to extract something. They show up to conversations with an agenda, a pitch, and a clear ask. The whole interaction feels transactional.
Here's the thing though: the best opportunities rarely come from the conversations where you're actively trying to create opportunities.
They come from the random coffee chat where you were just genuinely curious about someone's work. The follow-up conversation after a conference where you weren't selling anything. The casual introduction that happened because someone thought you two should know each other.
The Coffee Chat Advantage
Five meaningful coffee chats will get you further than 100 online applications. Here's why:
Real conversations reveal real needs. When you're talking to someone directly, you learn about problems that aren't posted on job boards, projects that are still in planning phases, and challenges that companies don't even know they need help with yet.
You become a person, not a resume. It's easy to reject a PDF. It's much harder to reject someone you've had a good conversation with.
Timing becomes your friend instead of your enemy. That person might not have anything for you today, but they'll think of you in three months when something opens up.
You get insider information. You learn what companies are actually looking for (versus what they think they're looking for), who makes the real decisions, and how things actually work behind the scenes.
The Curiosity Approach
Here's the key: go into those conversations with curiosity, not just an agenda. The goal isn't to pitch yourself - it's to connect.
Ask about their work. Understand their challenges. Learn about their industry. Share your own experiences when relevant, but don't make the conversation about you.
Most people are surprisingly willing to talk about what they do, especially if you're genuinely interested. And genuine interest is rarer than you think.
What "Taking Chances" Actually Looks Like
Taking chances doesn't mean being pushy or inappropriate. It means being willing to reach out when most people wouldn't.
Send that LinkedIn message to someone whose work you admire. Ask for a brief coffee chat with no specific agenda other than learning about their path. Follow up on conversations even when there's no immediate opportunity.
The worst thing that happens? They don't respond. The best thing that happens? You build a relationship that opens doors you didn't even know existed.
The Long Game
This isn't about immediate results. It's about building a network of people who know what you're capable of and think of you when opportunities arise.
Those coffee chats from six months ago? That's where your next opportunity is probably going to come from. Not from the application you submitted yesterday.
Why Most People Don't Do This
It's easier to submit applications online. It feels more official, more professional, more like "real work."
But easy doesn't mean effective.
Having real conversations with real people requires more courage, more vulnerability, and more time upfront. But the payoff is exponentially better.
The Compound Effect
Every genuine connection you make increases the likelihood that you'll hear about opportunities before they're officially posted. Every coffee chat expands your network by one degree of separation.
The person you meet today might not have anything for you directly, but they might know someone who does. Or they might think of you six months from now when something comes up.
This is how careers actually get built - through relationships, not applications.
Start Small
You don't need to completely overhaul your approach overnight. Start with one coffee chat this week. Reach out to one person whose work you find interesting.
The key is consistency, not intensity. One meaningful conversation per week will compound into dozens of valuable relationships over time.
The Bottom Line
Systems are designed to say no. People are capable of saying yes, even when the system says no.
The opportunities you really want - the ones that align with your goals and actually excite you - rarely come through official channels. They come through conversations, connections, and the willingness to take chances on relationships before you need them.
Stop waiting for the perfect opportunity to find you through the system. Start creating opportunities through the people.
When was the last time you reached out to someone just to learn about their work? What's stopping you from scheduling that coffee chat you've been thinking about?